Giving Pause in Google + (or anywhere)

July 15, 2011 in Connecting, General, Publishing, Social Networking with 3 Comments

While doing research writing policies for my former employer, I ran across Intel’s social media policy. To this day the one line that still sticks with me is “if it gives you pause, pause” meaning that if anything makes you stop and think maybe it should not be shared on the web or wise counsel should be sought before doing so. This past week Google + surprised me with a notice when I began to share a friend’s post. The box appeared when I clicked share reminding me that it had originally been intended for a limited audience and asking me if I really wanted to do that.

I loved the reminder. All of us could use a pause button. To this day my post on filtering your tweets is still one of my most read entries. We make mistakes, are impulsive and even at our best often lack judgement. We let things slip that should not be said. We say things to people we quickly regret. Is it so bad to have filters and checkpoints? Google found it worthy enough to include it in their sharing methods.

My grandfather told me once that I should pause before saying anything and roll it around my head first. He said that trying it on first will help to say something more meaningful. As we have increasing ways to broadcast ourselves, pause is more valuable than we may realize.

Join me on google plus. If you don;t have an account I have plenty of invites. Send me your gmail account name on my contact form.

About you: Google profiles

July 13, 2011 in Connecting, General, Marketing, Social Networking, Tools with 10 Comments

I first started using google profile about two years ago. It just makes sense. Google allows you to add as many links as you want as well as a useful description about yourself among other items. It is probably the most public place where you can tell the world about you. Remember the term “google me”. When I originally updated my profile I found that I showed up first on an organic search (raw search of google where you type in a term, like your name). Just for reference there are over a hundred John Bergquists in the U.S. with professions ranging from MDs to computer engineers.

Those seeking new careers or just graduating college have asked me what is the best way to connect with employers or potential business. Simply making sure that your information is readily available is key. An about.me page or a resume site can do the trick. The more creative you can be the better. Honestly, now as google + takes off (I have not seen a social network grow as fast as it has over the last few weeks), it makes sense to have a robust and complete google profile page. It certainly can’t hurt. I am working on a post about my following methods on social networks. A complete profile helps me know if you are someone I need to connect with.

As always I recommend that you never leave your most creative content out on anyone else’s platform. Let all roads lead back to home base as Chris Brogan coined it. Make sure your blog or website is the curation site that holds your remarkableness.

A quick note on privacy. Like any content on the web, be mindful of your rights as well as privacy settings. Too many people are not educating themselves on the details. Make sure you understand what you are sharing and how it can be viewed as well as used in the future.

If you are not on google + I still have invites. Send me a note here with your google account name and I will add you.
If you are on google + you can connect with me there as well.

Of gowns and hope

June 27, 2011 in Connecting, General, Social Networking with 2 Comments

This year I have had the opportunity to congratulate several graduates as they branch out in to the world with new degrees. As they head out on new or redefined careers they all are surviving on hope. That hope comes from us, the people in their community. I would love to report that I am hearing people administering joy and celebration to these individuals. The opposite however is more common. Conversations at parties or commencements center on that horrid term heard too often, “today’s economy”. Statistics on unemployment lodge in the heart. All are like lead weights holding them down with our lack of inspiration or vision.

After hearing Tom Hanks speak to the graduates of Yale I decided to do my best to first celebrate with the graduates and second share with them all my resources via networks to make sure that if I could find them a job I would. As Hanks said, they have fear behind them and hope before them.

They need to know you are there for them, noticing where they are headed and as a community member willing to make an extra effort to aid them in their quest.

One graduate is my nephew Matt Eberhart. He is now hold a degree from the University of Oregon in economics hoping to work in corporate responsibility. He is a bright and outgoing young man with a strong work ethic.

Another graduate is my wife Kristine. She received her masters after going back to school. As a highly qualified special education teacher she offers both a strong background of several years as a classroom teacher and a passion to provide excellent instruction to children with special needs.

Do they both face opposition, resistance, and stacks of other applicants battling for a few positions? Yes, but they also have us. I have no doubt that they will find their way. We play a critical role in helping them find it. Will you join me?

To start, if you know of an opportunity or someone who might help, drop me a note on my contact form with the subject line HOPE. Think of someone seeking a job and connect them to one.

Elevator talk

June 13, 2011 in Connecting, General, Social Networking with 7 Comments

No, this has nothing to do with the elevator pitch. To get to that you have to first have a conversation in an elevator. Recently at a convention I noticed that I have an uneasy feeling every time I ride in elevators with people don’t know. The convention was in the same place I was staying I was constantly going up and down to and from either a meal or a workshop.

Why am I so uncomfortable riding in elevators with strangers? I don’t think I am alone either. Think of the tension when several people are standing there waiting for their floor to light up. God forbid if the thing gets stuck. I am sure there are plenty of reasons for this discomfort but I have settled on two. The first is the default of choice. We don’t pick our elevator mates. Other places we can choose who we stand next to or have small chat with. Elevators throw us together, like it or not for a short period of confinement. That leads us to the second reason, brevity. Because we are together in a small space for such a short time we don’t see the value in investing in relationship building. We still have to endure the ride hoping no one strikes up a conversation.

How silly is that though? Like any situation we should make the best of it. We also never know where a new connection might go. So after the first day of multiple uncomfortable rides I decided to watch and learn from my friend Chris who, in my opinion, has the art of elevator talk perfected. As I began to watch him I realized he was noticing things about people. A badge, type of bag they were wearing or an accent would lead him into a question and usually result in a short but good conversation. Some would carry over into the lobby if we were headed the way. I also noticed that many people just wanted to be left alone.

It comes down to this. Even though we are confined together in a small space for a short period of time, just like any other situation we should take the chance to connect. Notice something about your elevator mates and strike up a conversation. Be ready for more. If they want to ride in silent peace let them. I leave you with my favorite elevator movie scene from You’ve Got Mail. Enjoy. And instead of staring at your toes next time, strike up some elevator talk. I plan to jump past my discomfort. Maybe you should as well.

Numbed vs being present

June 6, 2011 in Connecting, General with 4 Comments

This weekend I attended the U2 360 concert at Qwest Field in Seattle Washington. In the stadium were at least seven other good friends dispersed among the crowd but I had only bought one ticket and attended alone. I was surrounded by strangers. What I noticed at this conference were so many people drinking to the point of inebriation. I know, I know, people want to escape for a night of music and sunshine, escaping the pressures of the world. Alcohol and drugs are an easy way to temporarily access that escape. Do they know what they missed though?

That was the crowd. What bothered me was what unfolded in the connection to the people right next to me. I was in a small collection of seats and those sitting around me quickly started to visit. The woman sitting right next to me was a chef and we began to chat about many things. She was very interesting and we enjoyed each others company as we waiting for the show to begin. At that point she was fully present. We had connected. I was excited to read her blog and find out how she was impacting the world with her art and culinary life. I even felt safe enough to leave my bag with this group of former strangers as I went to use the restroom.

While standing in the restroom line I started to notice how drunk most of the men were. Our conversations were predictably one sided. What I did not expect was what happened next though. As I sat back down in my section I noticed my new friend was adding a couple of glugs of vodka to their lemonade cup. Now just to be honest I was sipping away at a beer I had just bought. While I had a single drink for the entire evening, my new friends downed several of these vodka lemonades. As the show began and progressed I noticed that the connections we had made slowly were replaced by a wall of intoxication. The person who had just earlier shared her passions and delight in her work was now an uninhibited drunk. The human bond of friendship we had started was replaced with alcohol induced inhibitions. She made judgement calls and statements that seemed so different from the person I had just met.

Sadly, I felt more alone than when I had first arrived. The show went on and the performance was amazing. I reminded myself that I had come here to see the band not to connect with people. Really I can’t help my self though.

We all numb ourselves in some way to the world around us. Be it the cookie, tv, alcohol or narcotic, they all help us escape the dragons that seem beyond our abilities to navigate. What is sacrificed though? For me that night it was friendship.

As I walked to my car after the show I noticed how much more present I felt. I called a good friend who was also leaving the show with his wife. We made plans to grab a lite night meal before my long drive home. As I waited for them to arrive at the dinner I looked around me at the people gathering. Many were coming off of shifts or stopping in after a night of dancing. Several had just attended the concert as well. Everyone was sober and present. The place was filled with laughter, conversation and friendship. Old relationships were going deeper and new ones were beginning. All the hardships in their lives were at that moment far and away.

I chased him down

May 31, 2011 in Connecting, Customer Service, General, Marketing, Social Networking, Twitter with 0 Comments

We were having a meeting in the Soma Games/Code-Monkeys office a couple of weeks ago near the front of the shop. In the middle of the meeting Chris Skaggs our CTO yelled out, “he is wearing our shirt!”. We all turned to look out the street front window. A guy in his twenties had just walked by wearing a Soma t-shirt. I immediately jumped up, opened the door and chased him down. He turned around as I called out, noting that he was wearing our t-shirt. I then asked him where he got it, telling him I thought it was cool he was wearing it. He said a guy named Chris had given it to him when he stopped in the shop out of curiosity. I thanked him for wearing it and invited him in to come in anytime to play XBox or see our latest projects.

I remember thinking to myself as I began to chase the guy down “what the heck am I doing”. I realize I really didn’t care if he thought I was nut. I was so excited this guys was walking around with our brand on him. I was going to do anything to make sure he knew we appreciated it.

That is what makes the difference today. Every fan, customer and community member matters. They have a voice and they hold the keys to you getting your name known. So when they wear your t-shirt, give you a shout out or blog about you, chase them down and make sure they know you saw you appreciate what they do. It doesn’t cost a thing and it goes a long way to further enchantment.

Here are a few examples of brands that listened this week.

A friend asked about the best Microsoft Office document app for the iPad. We had a conversation on twitter and Quick Office chimed in with a thank you.

I have a twitter list I use to promote Authors who are engaged on line. Using Paper.li the list sends out a note about the top posts from that list. Several Authors say thanks. Two of which are Ted Coine and Laurie King through her famous character from her Beekeepers Apprentice Novels Mary Russell, Sherlock Holmes’ young assistant.

These gestures are worth more than prizes and they can never be bought.

Staying Allocentric with Curiosity

May 17, 2011 in Connecting, General with 3 Comments

First, yes it is a word. Someone asked if it was last week after reading my article on the Huffington Post: Egocentric or Allocentric Connectedness. Interestingly enough it is actually a hard word to find even on the web. Webster’s Dictionary defines it as “having one’s interest and attention centered on other persons — compare egocentric”.

So how do we achieve an allocentric approach today in a world that demands us to tighten our tribe, gain followers and continually master whatever we are good at. That could be answered multiple ways but I find that what helps me the most is constant exploration. I explore what others are up to. I try to learn something about the world I might miss if I just focus on my own communities. We really don’t need to go far to do this either. Tools like Squidoo.com keep me exposed daily to interests I would not otherwise know care or about. Really your own community is sometimes the wealthiest resource. Create lists of interesting people on twitter or explore your friends updates on Facebook. During your day allow yourself to tag along with someone and do something you would never do yourself. Eat someplace you would never usually eat. Take a risk. Take the initiative. It is the fuel for innovation and what keeps us from turning stale. Seth Godin puts it this way in Poke the Box “Initiative is a little like creativity in that both require curiosity. Not the search for the “right” answer, as much as an insatiable desire to understand how something works…”

Last week a friend asked if I wanted to go with him to buy some silver. I know nothing about silver and at first thought of dozens of things I could be doing instead. And after all no one I know deals in silver…accept him. But then I wondered what I would learn. Could just a simple experience like this change my perspective that day? It did. I learned way more than I thought I would. Plus I have a greater connection to my friend because of his interests. Curiosity keeps us not only smarter but it expands our world and keeps us from taking ourselves too seriously. It allows us to connect with people and communities that are different.

What will you explore today? Who will you connect with outside of your regular tribe?

My own personal Eeyore

May 11, 2011 in Company Culture, Connecting, Rants, Social Networking, Twitter with 6 Comments

When I was little I had a stuffed Eeyore. I loved the toy and I felt a real connection to the character. You see, I was a bit of a complainer, even at an early age. I am not sure if I picked this up along the way or if I was born with a melancholy disposition. As I have come to terms with this I think the former is probably the truest. Misery loves company and Eeyore seems to attract plenty of it even if that crowd often thinks we are obnoxious. One day I realized that this was miserable to be around. I began to dive into the reasons I had to complain and go after ways to either change my attitude or my life. We all have due cause to complain about something after all. I realized I could change more than I thought.

Add in social media and platforms for anyone to express themselves through blogs, podcast, YouTube and we have an overexposure of the uglies. It begins with feeling camaraderie with others who are complaining, but then quickly turns in to one big downer. I am not proposing that people should never have an opportunity to share their hurts to find support. However, I am challenging people to turn around and see how others are impacted by your outlook. Who wants to be around someone who constantly is complaining? And yes I have those days that I still sigh a lot (A former co-worker never believed me when I said I was just needing more oxygen those days). But I find I have much better connection with people when I can optimistically take on my day.

This post was first inspired by Gini Dietrich’s post on SpinSucks and by her link to Peter Bergmans post in The Harvard Business Review, both excellent read on the subject.

Egocentric or Allocentric in our Connectedness

May 10, 2011 in Connecting, Social Networking with 1 Comment

Previously posted on The Huffington Post

Last Saturday I watched Brian Solis’ interview with filmmaker Tiffany Shlain, the founder of Webby Awards. Brian was interviewing her about her new film Connected. Near the end Solis makes a statement that was thought provoking. He explains our connections today as greatly centered around ourselves in a type of egosystem, egocentric because they center around our own interests. This bothered me. I am constantly trying not to be enticed by the rampant growth of narcissism in our world today.

Self-absorption is something to mindfully resist. If we don’t we decline into a pursuit of destructive affirmation. If we only focus on our interests and not on the community at large, we risk not understanding different world views and how those differences contribute to our world. Also, intellectual disruption leads to growth.

Parallel play is what children do before they are able to see and understand what others are doing. It is a normal part of child development, but adults should guard against parallel conversations. I blogged on how small business can do this in Parallel Playing.

Is our connectedness causing us to grow or simply reinforcing our comfortable belief systems? I think we are at risk here. I am a noticer. I often enjoy exploring the interests of others. This can simply be someone’s hobby or their profession. These observations expand my perspective and lead to personal growth. We don’t need to exclude ourselves from the tribes and interest groups that feed us, but we should continue to expand our understanding and mindfully reach out and be more allocentric in our connectedness.

Cutting to the deal

May 6, 2011 in Connecting, Marketing, Rants, Social Networking with 6 Comments

A few months back I was going through a few personality tests. The last one I took was the Core Value Index. I learned a big lesson from the CVI. I value relationships so much that I have a tendency to delay or stall closing a deal when doing business. On the other end of the spectrum there are people who leap to the deal too soon. There is a sweet spot. I am learning that if my skills and knowledge can benefit you I need to make that known and offer it up. Of course I need to feel that I have gained your trust first. For those of you ready to cut to the chase to early, slow down and get to know us first, discern if we really need what you offer. As I get to know you, I will naturally want to spread the word and if it is valuable to me I will buy your gadget or ask for your service.

This also applies to people already in our network. Just this week a friend who I had not heard from in a while contacted me and right away tried to sell me something (I admit I have made this mis-step too). It was just a big turn-off. Ask me how life is going first. Hang out with me for a while. Get reacquainted. Then, like I plan to do better, cut to the deal.

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