This morning Heidi Carlson of Hubspot shared an article on twitter from Fast Company that caught my attention. It covered Atari’s Founder Nolan Bushnell’s talk at Mindshare this past week. His main point was that we need to do analog things to keep our innovation alive. I have started to notice a pattern in my life in regards to my ability to be impactful as a connector, innovator and change agent. When I am drained I start to hide. By hide I mean connect less, innovate less and lose hope for a changed world. I lose my enjoyment in spending time with others. Life loses beauty and movement. It is a condition of our digital age. We are inundated with demands and opportunities but have lost what is needed to sustain.

Call it overreacting to the lizard brain, a factor of our economy, striving or digital addiction. Whatever you call it, the result is less of anything good and a lot of loss.

Below are a few ways that have helped me stay away from that list. These are ones that are working well for me and I would love to hear how you are keeping it at bay.

Digital Shabbats

I started taking what I call digital shabbats after getting to know Tiffany Shlain. She explains so well in her documentary Connected how our brains are becoming rewired due to constant digital use. In her own life she noticed she was less connected to the people she cared about the most. Taking one day a week to completely unplug changed it all for her. I have found the same result after making it a weekly habit. Judith Shulevitz has explored what the sabbath does extensively in her book The Sabbath World. You can see her here talking about what the sabbath has meant for her.

At first it was very difficult to practice because I was on a high from being so connected digitally. Now I look forward to my 24 hours of no iPhone, Twitter, Facebook or any other digital communication. I spend time reading, praying and getting closer to those around me in meatspace. It has really changed my life.

Beauty

Bushnell mentions this and my friend and co-director at Soma Games, Nat Iwata writes about it in an excellent blog post. We need beauty. Again I find that as I strive and struggle to get ahead, beauty seems to fall off the schedule. I use tools like Instagram to post cool things I find through pictures. You can easily correlate the frequency of posts there with my level of stress. When I am relaxed and alive I post a lot of pictures. When I am under the gun so to speak they disappear.

Guarding our Hearts

Out of all scripture I think one of the verses that to this day has been most important to me is Proverbs 4:23 “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”
This guarding manifests in many ways, and I think each of us has to explore what it means. For me it means being careful who I spend my time around. I pick up on moods and if people are constantly putting others down or stuck in mediocrity it can quickly steal my joy. What eventually happens is I lose drive and if I really let them in they will eventually steal more.
It can also mean being careful of the content I allow myself to digest. If it is bad for my kids it is usually bad for me. You are the best judge and can tell if your heart has stopped beating though. Go on a journey to find out when that beat died.

Staying Uncomfortable

Going back to Bushnell’s talk, I would point out that all of the recommendations he gave for keeping innovation alive could be grouped together in his first recommendation, staying uncomfortable. All of us, if we have slipped too far into busyness will find any of his recommendations terribly uncomfortable. I read a great quote this weekend (I can’t remember the source) that said it is better to disrupt ourselves before others disrupt us. I would say the same thing and add life. But that is another blog post all together.

Go make yourself uncomfortable today.

You may also be interested in my post: The Connector Recharged

It was two years ago this upcoming fall that a mentor challenged me with the statement “you are not acting like an entrepreneur”. It really torqued me because I was still living in an employee mindset. At the time I was a consultant and early founding member of my current company but had not yet left my job of nearly a decade. I had completely changed my career but I was still struggling with the balance of risk vs. comfort, the risk of startup life and the seemingly safe comfort as an employee.

This past week my friends and co-directors at Soma Games and Code-Monkeys were hanging out at our local bookstore. One of us noticed this crazy collection of books on the shelf (see photo). The titles were ironically placed: Automatic Millionaire, Investing for Dummies, At the Bar, Go Down Together and Debt Proof Living. Wow, could there be a funnier group of books to face a team of entrepreneurs? As a team we have seen success, challenge, and at times even faced possible annihilation. The latter two would have broken me two years ago. What has changed for me is state of mind.

I no longer pay much attention to complaints without solutions, watch the clock or live in an anxiety driven day. Yes I still dip into those categories but I quickly realize I have a choice.

I think the greatest thing that has to die continually for me is self-preservation. There is a clip I show when speaking to men that sums it up pretty well. In the true story of E Company in World War II, better known as the Band of Brothers, one of the privates admitted that instead of fighting on D-Day he gathered his parachute and hid till the battle was over. A while later as he is wallowing in his cowardly state on the front line he encounters Lt. Spears. Spears tells him he hid in the ditch not because he was scared but because he thought there was still hope.

I love that scene because it speaks so strongly to our struggle with self preservation and how easily we fall into a victim role. I see it all around me in marriages, schools, businesses and churches. We expect to be hand fed. If things get tough we abandon instead of owning our own roles in the situation. We act like slaves instead of linchpins. We hesitate instead of moving forward in confidence. On our own we all lack dependability. The only dependable thing we have in life is God.

I have chosen to act like an entrepreneur in every area of my life. In my marriage I choose to love with abandon. I own up to my constant struggle between comfort and security. In my business I am assessing my own role in both its successes and failures. I believe this is available to everyone in any situation. Even if we live in slavery we still have control of our outlook and mindset. We always have choices.

Watching a production of Romeo and Juliet as a ballet around 1990 was the first time I realized how much Shakespeare’s work impacted how I viewed and appreciated women.

All the works from The Taming of the Shrew to Much Ado About Nothing, helped shape my appreciation, respect and ultimately love for what I believe is the embodiment of God’s characteristics of beauty, power, compassion and gentleness; women.

As I have stated before, my favorite of the bard’s work is Henry V. And you would probably think it odd that I would mention it when speaking of the feminine half of humanity. But in the play I remember being captivated by the character of princess Catherine of Valois. Here we have royalty being thrown together in the midst of such turmoil. Their countries are at war. But in the end as the play portrays and reflects historical truth, they both being of tempered and stubborn stock, ultimately fall in love. Henry died two years later from sickness on the battlefield but his captured heart is forever accurately portrayed in the treaty signing scene when he asks to be alone with her.

“If thou would have such a one,
take me;
and take me, take a soldier;
take a soldier, take a king.”

At forty two I find myself deeply in love with a woman. And I love all her characteristics from feistiness to gentle femininity. I recognize them because of Shakespeare’s words and those years hoping that one day I would find my own true love.

I am not a fan of country music but there is one song by Rascal Flats that gets me every-time and reminds me of all I have learned along the way.

“I couldn’t see how every sign pointed straight to you
That every long lost dream lead me to where you are”

And so as I look at my beautiful daughter and her lovely mom, I see how through tragedies, romances, comedies and yes histories, I marvel how Shakespeare’s work has taught much of what I know and love about women.

Here is to that continued education on his birthday. Join me in celebrating with others at: http://happybirthdayshakespeare.com/

Two months ago I watched a panel held at Sundance titled Power of Story: How Docs Changed Change. It was moderated by CNN anchor Soledad O’Brien. The panelists included Sundance Institute President and Founder Robert Redford, Sheila Nevins, president of HBO Documentary Films and Nick Fraser commissioning editor of BBC’s Storyville. I had hoped the panel would have talked more about the role of connectedness in spreading the message and discussion of the documentary subject.  It never happened.  The time was spent mainly talking about film form and such and the only mention of the viewers role in , as the panel was called, “how docs changed change” was by Fraser who was amazed at receiving a mere hundred emails from fans for one of BBC’s documentaries.  Really?  I am sure if he had the correct tools he would have seen thousands of mentions and interactions through blogs, tweets and other connecting tools.

My conclusion was that these film makers were terribly disconnected from current trends and in the end their audiences.  The change is occurring because we are becoming more connected than ever and films like the record breaking Kony 2012 film regardless of your opinion about the ethics, shows how an idea can be spread through the format.  What filmaker need to understand though is how they can best use the connected audience.

Here is the panel in it’s entirety. Your thoughts?

I don’t remember when I was first came across Brian Solis.  It may have been through a mutual friend since we have many.  I still have not met him personally but I have enjoyed his posts and video interviews.  I had planned to read his book Engage for a long time but my book stack has taken on a  monstrous likeness lately.  This past spring I stumbled on on his interview with Tiffany Shlain where she talked about her new 2011 Sundance Official Selection documentary film Connected.  I enjoyed Brian’s questions in the interview and decided to dig into his work more.  When he launched an early campaign for his new book The End of Business as Usual I decided to order an early copy.  Yesterday I started it.  I was hooked on a book within the first chapter. Honestly I was hooked by just reading Katie Couric’s foreword.  I will post more about the book as I continue.

You can engage with Brian on Twitter at @BrianSolis or what I prefer these days, Google Plus.

I have been in social business as a guide sharing what I have learned about engaging, connecting and communicating with a digital world for almost a decade now. One person I continually learn from is Chris Brogan.  I’d say his book Trust Agents, co-written with Julien Smith, has influenced not only how I do business but also how I approach much of my world in an open and involved manner. When someone asks where they should start in digital communications, I hand them a copy of Trust Agents quickly followed by either  Seth Godin’s Meatball Sundae and/or Tribes.  I don’t even know how many copies I have gifted. So when Chris Brogan published his latest I quickly added it to my book stack.

This last summer I got an early invite to Google Plus. At first I was skeptical of the tool. Google Buzz was for me a competed failure.
I even deleted all my Buzz posts after my streams ended up being saturated with spam and content irrelevant to me or my community.  After exploring and seeing the sharing and content tools I started to see it as potentially changing everything.  It contained in it’s functionality all I had wanted from twitter and Facebook.   Brogan had not published his book yet so like every other early adopter I had to go about exploring on my own.  Fortunately you don’t have to.  Chris has brought his excellent business acumen and social business skills to the new platform and walks both the seasoned online user and newcomer through all the aspects of Google Plus from sharing, profile creation to making original posts.  Best of all he invited many other professionals to share their experiences on the tool as well as some early stories of success.

For me Chris’s stories are the most valuable.  Stories are still rare because Google Plus has only recently been made made public.  I expect Brogan to release a new edition as throngs of users continue to join.  I highly recommend  Google+ for Business: How Google’s Social Network Changes Everything for anyone planning to use the tool for building community and engaging with customers.  Personally I am using the book as a reference text. Others who have already established social network platforms will benefit from the same use.  Those just now engaging will find it to be a valuable tool.  Brogan presents the material in a way that is very digestible in content and his methods that are easy to implement.

This past year I have been catching up with the series Mad Men that tracks the protagonist Don Draper as he goes about his life becoming more entrapped by a web of lies. Every episode he falls deeper into a pose, an act that is far from who he really is.  One episode highlights how far from reality he has strayed and ends with him taking his family trick or treating. As they stand on the steps of one of the houses, the neighbor cheerfully asks the children “now who are you?”. The Camera pans up to Draper’s face and the question becomes truly haunting as you see in his expression that he really has no clue.

This subject of identity surfaces when I am having conversations about privacy. I think it is more about the pose. People seek my advice on content, sharing and building influence and community in business. I often get the privacy question: how much should I or my business share online?

Before I answer that question I first ask how much they are comfortable being themselves. With the latest run of Facebook changes, many have found that they are no longer comfortable with the content they have shared presumably behind a wall of protection.  Timelines expose their photos or likes freely on their friend pages. While I enjoy seeing what people are up to there are two types that I would prefer kept silent. Watching a person in a pose can be painful.  Like Mad Men’s audience, the world is aware of our pose.  Our lives are played out, some in public, some behind closed doors, but all on a stage.

Don Draper is an example of someone who is able to fool those around him, for a while. Others take on an almost clownish behavior afforded by wealth or fame.  Take Megaupload’s founder and now jailed Kim Dotcom as a prime example.  Even before his fall anyone could tell he was hiding his true identity behind fast cars, women and loud bragging.

Being ourselves doesn’t mean we have to bleed our issues all over the internet either.  I share my workflow and personal life everyday.  I invite others along on my journey and enjoy seeing others post as they go about their work and life.  I don’t share every intimate detail of my life though.  I have an inner circles of friends, each one with which I trust with more confidence as the circles tighten and reach the center.

This also means that I take time to self reflect and change the things in my life that are out of balance.  I also ask a select group to be candid with me if they see anything in my life that is not in character with the person they have come to know. They are my trenchmates and I listen to them.

So when you ask, I encourage you to first know yourself, reach that place where you like who you are and change the things that you are unhappy with.  Next I encourage you to find a balance that you are happy with when it comes to sharing you life with the world. I believe we are meant to learn and be inspired by the stories of peoples lives. We can’t do that if you hold back your own life.  We have a lot to learn from you.

There comes a time when we all want to reach out to someone with influence. Maybe it is a pitch for investing in your new startup.  It could be that you are seeking advice or mentorship.  Maybe you just want to get to know them as friends.  I have learned that a few things matter most when reaching out. If you always get the gatekeeper, the person tasked with making sure their boss is not harassed with time-wasting contacts, then you probably need to look at one or all of the following; your motives, your technique, and the value you add.

Motives are a big deal.  Often we don’t even know what they truly are.  Asking a few questions will help us take them apart.  Are you trying to get in contact with the person to sell something? Are you approaching them with a win win option? Do you want to add real value?

Technique can be anything from the way you approach them to the look and words on your about page.  Each of these matter. Often succes comes down to finding the main mode of communication they use. If you pique their interest they are going to do a bit of investigating.  If they are like me, they will try to find out who you are.  That means they will search for you online. That is why your about page, as well as all of your social site interactions, are important.

Lastly, and I think most importantly, is the value you add. Are you showing up nearly out of obscurity or have you done your homework?  If they are an author, read their books. If they are an actor or director, go watch their films. Find out if they answered your question already if they have a blog. Comment, share and engage. A little ground work and investing in their work can pay off.  It sets you apart form all the other people trying to get their attention.

I have made friends with many influential people over the years. I have had a lot of success reaching people that I have wanted to connect with. To tell the truth, I only have talked with a handful of gatekeepers.

Most of all, don’t be afraid to reach out and connect. You will never know what friendships or connections you will be missing unless you risk a bit and try.

Oh, and one last note.  If you find yourself struggling with this go read Guy Kawasaki’s Enchantment: The Art of Changing Heart, Minds, and Actions.  At the end of the book Guy asks the reader to take an enchantment test.  I failed so I am re-reading it.  He has some priceless nuggets of advice that are truly great when reaching out to influencers.

This week I had a great customer service experience while arranging for my warranty covered notebook to be repaired. That is not what prompted this post though. The reason I am writing this resulted to from the response the rep gave to a question at the end of our online chat.  I was a happy customer. My computer was going to be fixed and returned free of charge in 7-9 days. The rep had answered all my questions, was polite, and most of all human in their communication. As a result, I wanted to give them a shout out.  I asked how best I could do that via Twitter, Facebook or Google Plus.  The response was frustrating.  They told me that I should expect a survey shortly and I could reflect my satisfaction by filling it out. Ok, wow. I hate filling out surveys.  Likely it will in no way help out the rep that gave me stellar service.

This was not the fault of the rep.  As company leaders we have broken systems. The bigger the company the more broken they are.  What I understood from the end of my chat was that there was no way for a customer to compliment them. The rep had no channel or tool outside of a boring survey to give to a happy customer.  With engagement being the currency of today’s business economy HP appeared bankrupt. Unlike the rep I know that they could have said the following:

Oh, that is great?  Yes we have a Facebook page located at http://www.facebook.com/HP or you can mention this on Twiiter. Our twitter account is https://twitter.com//hp.  We are just starting out on Google Plus but you can engage there as well.

Everyone is learning in this ever changing social space. Customer service reps are the front line heroes.  If you have the power give them some as well.  Hire employees you trust and give them flexibility to engage as well as the training to do it well.

Last week my good friend Mary Breslin Nichols of Karmic Marketing asked me how I was managing post  on Google Plus (G+) as opposed to Facebook and Twitter.  Since before Christmas I’ve really cut back on my social media time and blogging mainly because I have been in the middle of a big game launch for Wind Up Robots (check it out as Gaming App of the Day on Kotaku and one of the Android Apps of the Week on Gizmodo last week). We also launched  Santa’s Giftship.  After all, if we do not ship we run out of anything good to share, right?

As I re-engage I have thought a lot about Mary’s question, not just in regards to G+ but all of my communication tools and practices.

This summer as I explored G+ as an early user I decided that it would be a good place to curate and explore my passion for technology, design and art (mainly as it pertains to tech and games and consumer mobile tech).

Twitter, since my first post, has an extension of my blog where I talk and discuss communications, leadership and company culture as well as publishing. Tech fits in there as many gadgets are meant to be communication tools.  There is much that I like to share that does not fit into that grouping.

For two years now I have curated many of my tech musings on my Huffington Post Blogger page. I try to keep those posts focused on the “bigger ideas”. G + seemed like the perfect place to daily seek out information as well as post what I find.

I think I came to this conclusion because Google itself has innovation and tech at its core. Google’s integration of so many tools makes it easy to share information via photos, links and video.  Add to that the power of hangouts, search, geo-location and you have a great tool.

Facebook is….well it is Facebook, a whole different beast. My personal account is for close friends (and yes I have a lot of them). Pages are where I can engage with devoted fans of the companies and brands I represent.

I do cross feed some of the information. If I do I try to tailor it for the audience and not inundate them with chatter.

Here is an example of my day on G+:

I usually check into some of my searches to see if anything relevant has happened over night. Then I read through the streams of some of my favorite tech resources, one of which is +Robert Scoble . Next I usually try to keep tabs on some of the brands that I work closely with like +Intel . I also track conferences or events as well. Right now +International CES (Which I am missing this year) and Mobile World Congress (I have not found an account or circle yet) are on my radar. For CES I have been watching Robert Scoble’s CES Circle.

Truthfully I am still thrashing to find the sweet spot here. It can seem like a jungle at times since Twitter is so familiar and has been a treasure for me. It will come though. Right now Chris Brogan ’s book on Google Plus  is helping me organize things greatly. I highly recommend it.

I post the most interesting things I find and try to personalize the message. I always try to attribute the person I found the information from. I am also trying to funnel the stories I find throughout the day.

And if you are wondering if it is worth your time as a business person I think yesterday’s example will be of value.  I commented on a post and the author responded back asking if I would mind being quoted in his article.  I obliged.  I soon found out that he is the Senior mobile analyst for PCMag.com, Jamie Lendino.  His article “Hey, Google: Here’s What Fragmentation Means” , largely built around my quote ended up being on the front of PCMag.com all day putting my two companies names Code-Monkeys and Soma Games in front of thousands of people.  This happens more often than you would think.  Just engage and be honesty. Put your best out there and build relationships. You will eventually stand out.  G+ is a great tool to get you there.

One last thing. I use G+ within Chrome while at my desk or on my MacBook Pro. While mobile I use my iPhone G+ app. I am still trying to find a fit for the iPad.

You can find me on G+ at http://gplus.to/johnflurry.