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Striking a Pose

February 1, 2012 in Connecting, Rants, Uncategorized with 0 Comments

This past year I have been catching up with the series Mad Men that tracks the protagonist Don Draper as he goes about his life becoming more entrapped by a web of lies. Every episode he falls deeper into a pose, an act that is far from who he really is. One episode highlights how far from reality he has strayed and ends with him taking his family trick or treating. As they stand on the steps of one of the houses, the neighbor cheerfully asks the children “now who are you?”. The Camera pans up to Draper’s face and the question becomes truly haunting as you see in his expression that he really no has a clue.

This subject of identity surfaces when I am having conversations about privacy. I think it is more about the pose. People seek my advice on content, sharing and building influence and community in business. I often get the privacy question: how much should I or my business share online?

Before I answer that question I first ask how much they are comfortable being themselves. With the latest run of Facebook changes, many have found that they are no longer comfortable with the content they have shared presumably behind a wall of protection. Timelines expose their photos or likes freely on their friend pages. While I enjoy seeing what people are up to there are two types that I would prefer kept silent. Watching a person in a pose can be painful. Like Mad Men’s audience, the world is aware of our pose. Our lives are played out, some in public, some behind closed doors, but all on a stage.

Don Draper is an example of someone who is able to fool those around him, for a while. Others take on an almost clownish behavior afforded by wealth or fame. Take Megaupload’s founder and now jailed Kim Dotcom as a prime example. Even before his fall anyone could tell he was hiding his true identity behind fast cars, women and loud bragging.

Being ourselves doesn’t mean we have to bleed our issues all over the internet either. I share my workflow and personal life everyday. I invite others along on my journey and enjoy seeing others post as they go about their work and life. I don’t share every intimate detail of my life though. I have an inner circles of friends, each one with which I trust with more confidence as the circles tighten and reach the center.

This also means that I take time to self reflect and change the things in my life that are out of balance. I also ask a select group to be candid with me if they see anything in my life that is not in character with the person they have come to know. They are my trenchmates and I listen to them.

So when you ask, I encourage you to first know yourself, reach that place where you like who you are and change the things that you are unhappy with. Next I encourage you to find a balance that you are happy with when it comes to sharing you life with the world. I believe we are meant to learn and be inspired by the stories of peoples lives. We can’t do that if you hold back your own life. We have a lot to learn from you.

No way to compliment

January 20, 2012 in Company Culture, Connecting, Customer Service, Rants, Tools with 4 Comments

This week I had a great customer service experience while arranging for my warranty covered notebook to be repaired. That is not what prompted this post though. The reason I am writing this resulted to from the response the rep gave to a question at the end of our online chat. I was a happy customer. My computer was going to be fixed and returned free of charge in 7-9 days. The rep had answered all my questions, was polite, and most of all human in their communication. As a result, I wanted to give them a shout out. I asked how best I could do that via Twitter, Facebook or Google Plus. The response was frustrating. They told me that I should expect a survey shortly and I could reflect my satisfaction by filling it out. Ok, wow. I hate filling out surveys. Likely it will in no way help out the rep that gave me stellar service.

This was not the fault of the rep. As company leaders we have broken systems. The bigger the company the more broken they are. What I understood from the end of my chat was that there was no way for a customer to compliment them. The rep had no channel or tool outside of a boring survey to give to a happy customer. With engagement being the currency of today’s business economy HP appeared bankrupt. Unlike the rep I know that they could have said the following:

Oh, that is great? Yes we have a Facebook page located at http://www.facebook.com/HP or you can mention this on Twiiter. Our twitter account is https://twitter.com//hp. We are just starting out on Google Plus but you can engage there as well.

Everyone is learning in this ever changing social space. Customer service reps are the front line heroes. If you have the power give them some as well. Hire employees you trust and give them flexibility to engage as well as the training to do it well.

What if Churchill never spoke?

January 5, 2012 in Company Culture, Rants with 0 Comments

Times are rough. Companies are struggling to make it. Startups come and go. Wars are being fought all over the world and often the battle wether it be for your life, health or business can seem hopeless.

But the truth is it is not hopeless. My favorite battle victory stories are the ones where the odds seemed impossible. But history tells us they were not. In fact all of those battles had a strong leader that lead with resolve, inspiration and hope.

Churchill gave three pivotal speeches during World War II but my favorite has been most commonly referred to as the “We will Fight on the Beaches” given to the House of Commons in Parliament June 4th 1940. In that speech he had to do three things; To announce what he deemed a “colossal military disaster” in France and Belgium, make England and the rest of the free world aware of how dire the situation was with Hilters real threat of invading the British Isles, and third (and I would say most importantly) inspire great confidence and resolve in winning the coming battle. Here is an excerpt from that speech that most inspires me:

We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender, and if, which I do not for a moment believe, this island or a large part of it were subjugated and starving, then our Empire beyond the seas, armed and guarded by the British Fleet, would carry on the struggle, until, in God’s good time, the new world, with all its power and might, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of the old. (I encourage you to listen to the speech in whole via the Guardian)

So a leaders communication can mean everything to those facing a hard time. That is why Churchill, and many other historical greats like him chose to speak. Yes the battle might seem hopeless and doom may be looming but each of us can communicate in our greatest effort a message that will draw forth the best in those around us. So if given the chance, speak truth. Speak confidence in yours and others strength. Most of all speak hope.

Engage and connect over interrupt, please!

October 11, 2011 in Connecting, Customer Service, Rants with 2 Comments

I wish that was the case when it came to big companies: Engage over interrupt. But unfortunately they still choose to interrupt us. I am a State Farm client. I chose them because my local agent Chris Nordyke is all about engagement. His company though is still stuck in interrupt mode sending me snail mail that goes unopened right in the recycle bin. Worse, they show up on sites where I am trying to

get something done. Here is an example of an ad that wastes my time and forces me to think about becoming a customer even though I already am one. I am trying to use the site to find a new home, so every time I visit the site the ad plays …just as if I had never been there before. How much of their multi millions marketing budget is spent on commercial ads, mailers and gimicky campaigns like this one that could instead be driven down to agents like mine. I can think of many ways he would readily engage his community and customer base even more with that money. But no, they continue to interrupt us instead of treating us like people. If it was not for the heart and people behind my local version of State Farm I would quickly move on.

I might be clueless

October 1, 2011 in Rants with 4 Comments

On my trip back from Seattle on thursday night we were taking a quick break at a restaurant. On the tv screen at the eatery was a silent image of a court room. Someone was testifying and a defendant was sitting at the table with his legal team. I had no idea who it was or why it was apparently important enough to be national news. My friend Ryan informed me that it was Michael Jackson’s doctor on trail for his alleged role in Jackson’s death. I was completely clueless on the matter and and furthermore thrilled to be. Standing outside the popular media’s interpretation of newsworthy is refreshing. I only have so much time to be caught up on the news that is relevant to my world.

I used to be a current events junkie. I had to read newspapers every morning or I felt incomplete. At one time I had subscriptions to the Wall Street Journal, New York Times, Washington Post and the Oregonian. I know that sounds excessive but I was headed toward a career in either foreign service or politics. Beyond that I wanted to keep my finger on the pulse of the world. Fortunately my plans changed. Now I get my news mainly from you, my community (the complete discussion of how I get the news is one of my favorite posts (All the News that’s Tailored to Read).

So today I might be clueless in many subjects outside publishing, communications, connecting, video games, mobile technology and such. I think I have a lot more to offer because of it. I still read up on some popular news but I only turn my attention to it if someone in my network makes a compelling mention about. Are you making it a goal to be clueless?

Why are you hiding?

September 27, 2011 in Connecting, Rants, Social Networking, Tools with 6 Comments

I just read probably one of the smartest assessment of the continued privacy discussion I have seen in a while. Brian Solis’ post found via friend Clay Hebert’s twitter stream this morning, covers much of what I have written in regards to being responsible with our own privacy online. Brian says so much more. I love this one quote:

“it’s up to us to help another while taking responsibility for what we do and say online. At the end of the day, we can’t blame Facebook or developers when those whom we care about change how they see us.”

In the past I have written several times about privacy, with my Unboxed You post being my favorite right up there with my Privacy of Jesus post on Liquid Cloud 11. I continually come back to this. I seek out a time where I am online the person you meet offline, meaning what I have to offer and all I stand for are the same as the person I am behind closed doors (or for you behind a Facebook ever-changing privacy curtain). Out of who I am I hope to add not take away, strengthen and not weaken those around me. If I continue to filter, categorize and box I am really just posing a person unlike the real me. I know there are real concerns with safety and those concerns are valid. But I believe there is a much more important issue here. What matters most is being honest with ourselves and others regarding our true selves. This is what probably drives Zucherberg hate the most. We fear lost control of the person the world sees as compared to the person we truly are.

A while back I was advising a company with their online presence. One of the main employees who would be managing the Facebook page turned to me and said “ I am not on Facebook”. Curious, I asked him why. He replied “because I don’t want people (meaning employers and such) seeing pictures of me doing dumb things at parties”. I had one reply for him “don’t do stupid things at parties”. At the time I had one of those gut instincts about this person. Gavin de Becker writes about this (thanks again Clay for the book) in The Gift of Fear. We all have them. I should have acted on it. He turned out to be a criminal and had plenty of reason to keep his personal life hidden. Do you though?

Dismissing Others

August 22, 2011 in Company Culture, Connecting, Rants with 11 Comments

I hate seeing others dismissed. I find I do it more than I like myself. Often it results from a gap in understanding someone from a different generation group, profession or point of view. No matter the root, it is a quick way to disconnect ourselves from others. And just like any offense, it is easier to avoid wrongs than mend them later. I see a lot off dismissing, being in an industry that is just beginning to be recognized as both an art form and valid storytelling format. Video games are still seen by many as a waste of time even as they quickly gain ground over movies as the most popular form of entertainment.

Roger Ebert caught my attention in his review of Conan the Barbarian on Friday. In describing what he saw as the movie’s pointless nature, he quipped:

“The movie is a series of violent conflicts. People who despair of convincing me to play video games tell me, “Maybe if you could just watch someone else playing one!” I feel as if I now have.“

In one sentence he dismisses a majority of his readers as violence thirsty gamers. Out of curiosity I dug into his review of the original Conan staring Schwarzenegger. In that review he treats the “alienated preadolescent” audience targeted by the makers with respect. He notes the care the filmmakers took with Robert E. Howard’s original tale. Compared with the new review it seems to be that of an honest movie reviewer. Today he come across jaded and bitter. I agree with much of his current review but I fear he may lose many by isolating a whole demographic.

As I watched the crowd that same Friday at the OMSI Game On 2.0 video game history exhibit, I noticed that people of all ages were enjoying themselves. Grandparents were fully present with grandkids, forty something moms were happily playing old and new games with their sons and daughters. Several twenty something couples were there on dates.

Often there will be a temptation to dismiss someone I disagree with or don’t understand. Regardless, even if I honestly do fall on the opposite sides of an issue, I need to remember that the person is still worth my time and respect.

Is your box really that small?

August 17, 2011 in General, Rants with 16 Comments

Each of us has a sphere of influence and ability. We often limit possibilities, thinking we have this box we need to operate within. I recently read Seth Godin’s Poke the Box. I agree with his idea that we don’t want to think outside the box (as we have been told so often) when trying to create or design something. He says we need to poke the box, work the borders, and test the limits.

What happens if we realize our box is actually too small? What if we have lived with a skewed picture and the box is actually much bigger than we ever guessed or allowed ourselves to see.

What you are capable of is so much more than you have ever known. Nate Bagley shared this short film yesterday of Danny Macaskill doing his mind bending bicycle stunts. As he went about them in an old industrial park, I notice a pattern. First he inspects, then calculates, and last attempts the stunt. He is pushing and poking at his box. The difference is he really knows the limits to push. Do we?

Tackling it together

August 15, 2011 in Connecting, Rants with 13 Comments

Why don’t we ask each other for help anymore? It wasn’t too long ago that barns were raised as a community, sheep were sheared as a group effort. When I was young we used to participate in the spring branding, immunizations and ear tagging for a friend’s cattle ranch. It was a time to get together, share experiences but most of all a way to get a huge job done in a short amount of time.

We seem to have lost both the ability to do things like this in our busy schedules. We still have large projects to tackle. It doesn’t even have to be big. It could be a simple favor. We rarely ask each other for help and we don’t offer either. Maybe it is a result of our individualistic tendencies in the US. In other countries people still rely on community. I think they have something figured out that we don’t. We can’t do it alone. I will go even further and say we are not meant to do life alone.

We are preparing to move to another town. In order to do that we need to sell our home and complete many projects to do so. My wife and I realized that we just can’t get it all done with out help. Over the past week we have had a handful of friends volunteer. We ended up getting jobs done that I expected to take weeks to finish. One of the best parts I have enjoying in receiving help is the uninterrupted time to visit and connect. I can’t think of the last time I spent an entire weekend with my friend Steve who helped power-wash and paint.

So let us put away our pride. Stop thinking and ask others to help you accomplish a task. Notice projects others are overwhelmed by and lend a hand. Better yet grab some friends and accomplish it together. After all, we not meant to do life alone.

You have time to read

July 29, 2011 in General, Publishing, Rants, Tools with 7 Comments

An entrepreneur starting a new business was asking for advice on specific connecting tools this week. I gave him a few tips. Ultimately though, I told him there were a few books that would supply him with everything he needed to know. Plus they would cover the topic in greater detail. His reply was a simple “I don’t have time to read”. Really, I asked? Not even an audio book while you travel?

Reading keeps us sharp and helps us stay constant students not only of our own trade but the world around us. On average in the US Adults spend 2.73 hrs a day watching TV and an average of 23 minutes commuting to and from work*. Those are just a few segments of time that could be used. Books are available in many forms making it easy for the busy person on the go. I am currently reading three books with my kindle account on three devices that sync between each other. I can grab a section on my MacBook Pro, pick it back up on my Droid X sitting in a doctor’s office and then continue at the same spot as I settle into bed with my iPad. Some ebooks can even read to you while you commute (including two my company developed) and others can also be synced through your favorite audio program like iTunes, Spotify or Google Music.

If you tell me you are too busy to read I will tell you that you wrong. You are missing out on valuable information to help you not stagnate in an ever changing business world. Most of all though, you are missing all the benefits that a good book offers. Peace, perspective and a stimulated mind. If you still feel you don’t have time, my friend Tara can point out all the time you don’t know you actually have.

*figures based on US Bureau of Labor Statistics, Gallup poll.