Empathy begins when we we discover blindspots. Our relationships break free of limits when, observed, we decide to set aside assumptions, our own bias, our realities and realize….the other person does not experience any of these like we do.
David Foster Wallace said “The most obvious important realities are often the ones that are hardest to see and talk about.”
We all known those individuals that are like as the saying goes “a bull in a china shop” when it comes to relating to others. But none one of us are relating perfectly.
Our days are spent navigating dangerous and shifting worlds. We easily become obsessed with surviving the next conversation.
What do I say next? How should I react to what they just said? Should I be offended? Wait, was that a compliment? Should I make the pitch or wait a little longer? Do I get to tell my story now?
Do you see the 2nd conversation going on there? We all do it. We end up in an alternate dialogue….with ourselves.
What is the hardest thing for you to see. Stop and choose to discover it. When found, make the change.
I bet the next conversation will be radically different.
A nod to my friend Brian Solis is deserved for my discovery of Wallace’s quote. I found it via his recent book. X:The Experience When Business Meets Discovery.