Accountability Partner or Trench Mate: Whatever you call them, you need them

July 30, 2010 in General, Raves, Tools with 9 Comments

This morning my friend Kevin sent out a response he received from one of his Free Agent Academy members. He had asked his community how they were doing in their business.  Here is some of that response:

“Kevin, in my response to your recent email I told you things have stalled due to various stuff happening in my life and a lack of time. I now realize that is not why things have stalled. Instead, it is because of fear, lack of knowledge & experience, and lost focus which has caused me to stall in my business pursuit. And most of all, it is a lack of being held accountable that has prevented me from overcoming those challenges.”

I love the essence of this response.  We succeed with good counsel.  I think that counsel is most powerful when it is given full permission to speak truth, guidance and conviction into our lives.  The trouble is (and I speak this from a ministry and business perspective) we have made the term “accountability partner” equivalent to parole officer.  I guess

George Metcalf Archival Collection CWM 19920044-058

you could say, when it comes to our calling, we have all kept ourselves in prison for way to long under the burdens of fear, inadequacy, lack of knowledge and wisdom. Once we taste freedom we need someone to help us attain it.  But why has that word (accountability) gained such disdain?  Is it because we are too stubborn, individualistic and bull headed to accept it?  I don’t think so.  Those things all play a part, but most of all I think it is rooted in the fact that rather than encourage and walk along side each other, we are too quick to hold people to what they used to be.  This goes for ourselves too.  We are the first ones, at the first sign of resistance, to fall back to what we used to be.  We need reminding that we have embarked on a journey of adventure, thrill and greatness.  We don’t have any other option but success.

If you have left the mediocre life behind, I encourage you to seek out someone to encourage you, correct you, guide you.  I am not talking about a mentor or coach in this case, but someone who is in the same situation you are in.  Kevin calls them accountability partners.  I like the term trench mate.  Call it what you may, you need them to make it through.  And if you think any of us are immune to the trails and pitfalls, you are greatly mistaken.  I signed up today to make Kevin a trench mate in my own journey.

You can join Kevin here.

About Johnflurry: Director of Communications for Soma Games & Code-Monkeys. Huffington Post blogger. I'm also an expert advisor for the George Fox Seminary Semiotics & Future Studies program.

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  • http://twitter.com/agentmiller Kevin Miller

    John – you…are an incredible communicator. A deep thinker, a great writer. “I think it is rooted in the fact that rather than encourage and walk along side each other, we are too quick to hold people to what they used to be.” That is the stuff. Unfortunate, but true. Like said in the Matrix, “We can never see past the choices we don't understand.” And 'Trench Mate.' That may be it, cause as you elude to…'accountability partner' has been tarnished. Thank you my friend. My mate.

  • http://www.future-frontiers.net Justin

    I like the idea of re-branding accountability partner. The idea of a trench mate is great.

  • http://www.flurrycreations.com/theblog John Bergquist

    Thanks Justin and Kevin. Kevin, in light of your posts about your wife, I think as an addition that our spouses can, if they join us on the “story”, be our strongest and most powerful trench mates. We have been talking a lot about that on our vacation.

  • http://eyesoftheheart.wordpress.com/ Mike McDade

    I love your heart John; I need men who are willing to stay in the trenches with me even when it is scary and it seems that we are losing ground. I think most of us fear success as much as we do failure because if we succeed others will expect more from us. Thanks for thoughts and the depth of your understanding on the topic of “Trench Mates

    • http://www.flurrycreations.com/theblog John Bergquist

      Mike, It continually shocks me how much we need them, not only in the trenches but as we do succeed.

  • Maria Sapio

    I love the word ‘trenchmate’ that you have used. So true, so valuable, so needed. The ‘trenchmates’ purpose on the battlefield is to help keep each other alive. Being fully alive is more (so much more) than existing…it is understanding our God given identity and living it! Love what you said, “We need reminding that we have embarked on a journey of adventure, thrill and greatness. We don’t have any other option but success.” ‘Trenchmates’ speak words of life to each other – they recognize that the one beside them is God’s anointed one. A ‘trenchmate’ sees your gifts and talents and encourages (literally offers you the courage) to ‘lean into the discomfort’ of be-ing fully you! A trenchmate is one that looks at you and says, ‘I belive in you…no matter what!’

    Excellent blog post my brother…hopeful & encouraging :-)

    • http://www.flurrycreations.com/theblog John Bergquist

      Thank you Maria. It is so important, on the journey.

  • Anonymous

    “I think that counsel is most powerful when it is given full permission to speak truth, guidance and conviction into our lives.”     That is SO true and SO powerful. Ya know what?  Sometimes we may not like what we hear, but if the one saying it is speaking out of  a love for Christ, they will have your best interests in mind.Carolyne

    • http://www.flurrycreations.com/theblog John Bergquist

      @redeemingcarolyne:disqus Thank you.  Yes it is powerful indeed.  And that power reaches way beyond us as well since all of us impact the world.