Listening Part 2: Focus

We have all had it happen to us (and I am guilty of doing it to others).  You are at a conference where you have just been introduced to someone, or you are having coffee with a friend. They ask you a question and before you get far with your response they are looking over your shoulder past you, scanning the room for someone more interesting, powerful or better looking. Sometimes it happens between friends. It is just rude.

The most important person in the world is always the one right in front of us. We have to focus.  Without it we are not listening.

My son is into astronomy and we found this great site that allows us to look through live powerful telescopes around the world. Every time it aims at a star cluster or galaxy it takes about 3-5 minutes before the faint light can be gathered and the details of the object come into full view.  Suddenly colors emerge and its shape becomes defined.  It’s the same with people. You will never really hear them or learn from them if you don’t take the time and focus on what they are saying.

A friend recently helped a speaker put on a weekend retreat.  At dinner before the first session the speaker asked my friend to tell him a bit about his story.  What my friend noticed was this man’s intense focus.  He listened to my friend as if he was the only one in the world for that moment.

If we take the time, we will be surprised how fascinating every person we meet truly is.  Without focus we will constantly be missing out.  How many relationships could you build, what trust could you establish by applying this simple principle?

If you missed it here is the first part in the series: Shut up, stop talking and really listen.